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Uncle Stan

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: June 22, 2010, 10:38:24 AM


 

   

 You can't make this stuff up!
 
 
NEW YORK  - resident Kathy Evans brought humiliation to her friends and family
 when she set a new standard for stupidity with her appearance
 on the popular TV show, 'Who Wants To Be A Millionaire.'
 
 Evans, a 32-year-old wife and mother of two, got stuck on the first question
 and proceeded to make what fans of the show are dubbing 'the absolute worst use
 of lifelines ever.' After being introduced to the show's host
 Meredith Vieira, Evans was posed with a typically easy initial $100 question.
 
 The question was: 'Which of the following is the largest?'
 
 A) A Peanut
 B) An Elephant
 C) The Moon
 D) Hey, who you calling large?
 
 Immediately Mrs. Evans was struck with an all consuming panic as she did not
 readily know the answer. 'Hmm, oh boy, that's a toughie,' said Evans,
 as Vieira did her level best to hide her disbelief.
 'I mean, I'm sure I've heard of some of these things before,
 but I have no idea how large they would be.'
 
 Evans made the decision to use the first of her three lifelines, the 50/50.
 Answers A and D were removed, leaving her to decide which was
 bigger, an elephant or the moon. However, faced with an incredibly
 easy question, Evans still remained unsure.
 
 'Oh! It removed the two I was leaning towards!' exclaimed Evans...
 'Darn. I think I better phone a friend.'
 Mrs.. Evans asked to be connected with her friend
 Betsy, who is an office assistant.
 
 'Hi Betsy! How are you? This is Kathy! I'm on TV!' said Evans,
 wasting the first seven seconds of her call.
 'Ok, I got an important question. Which of the following is the largest?
 B, an elephant, or C, the moon. 15 seconds hun.'
 Betsy quickly replied that the answer was C, the moon.
 Evans proceeded to argue with her friend for the remaining ten seconds.
 'Betsy, are you sure?' said Evans. 'How sure are you? Duh, that can't be it.'
 
 To everyone's astonishment, the moronic Evans declined to take her friend's
 advice. 'I just don't know if I can trust Betsy. She's not all that bright.
 So I think I'd like to ask the audience,' said Evans.
 
 Asked to vote on the correct answer, the audience returned 98% in favor of
 answer C, 'The Moon.' Having used up all her lifelines,
 Evans then made the dumbest choice of her life..
 
 'Wow, seems like everybody is against what I'm thinking,' said the
 too-stupid-to-live Evans. 'But you know, sometimes you just got to go with
 your gut.. So, let's see... I'm going to have to go with B, an elephant... Final answer.'
 
 Evans sat before the dumbfounded audience, the only one waiting with bated breath -
 and was told that she was wrong, and that the answer was in fact, C, 'The Moon.'
 
Caution...they walk among us
 This one is equally unbelievable. (No comments needed!)

 
 

 They Walk Among Us!
------------------- ----------------------------------------------

 Some guy bought a new fridge for his house.
 To get rid of his old fridge, he put it in his front yard and hung a
 sign on it saying: 'Free to good home. You want it, you take it...'
 For three days the fridge sat there without anyone looking twice.
 He eventually decided that people were too mistrustful of this deal.
 So he changed the sign to read: 'Fridge for sale $50.'
 
 The next day someone stole it!

 They walk amongst us! ----------------------------------------------------------------------------     


 I stopped at Mc Donald's and ordered some fries.
The girl behind the counter said "would you like some fries with that?"
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 
 *One day I was walking down the beach with
 some friends when someone shouted....
 'Look at that dead bird!'
 Someone looked up at the sky and said...'where?'

 They walk among us!
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

While looking at a house, my brother asked the
 estate agent which direction was north because
 he didn't want the sun waking him up every morning.
 She asked, 'Does the sun rise in the north?'
 My brother explained that the sun rises in the east
 and has for sometime. She shook her head and said,
 'Oh, I don't keep up with all that stuff.......'

 They Walk Among Us!
-----------------------------------------------------------------

My colleague and I were eating our lunch in our cafeteria,
 when we overheard an admin girl talking about the
 sunburn she got on her weekend drive to the beach.
 She drove down in a convertible, but said
 she 'didn't think she'd get sunburned
 because the car was moving'.

 They Walk Among Us!
-----------------------------------------------------------------

My sister has a lifesaving tool in her car
 which is designed to cut through a seat belt
 if she gets trapped. She keeps it in the car trunk.

 They Walk Among Us!
-----------------------------------------------------------------
I was hanging out with a friend when we saw a woman
 with a nose ring attached to an earring by a chain.
 My friend said, 'Ouch! The chain must rip
 out every time she turns her head!"
 I had to explain that a person's nose and ear
 remain the same distance apart no
 matter which way the head is turned....

 They Walk Among Us !
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I couldn't find my luggage at the airport baggage area and.
 went to the lost luggage office and reported the loss.
 The woman there smiled and told me not to worry
 because she was a trained professional and
 said I was in good hands. 'Now,' she asked me,
 'Has your plane arrived yet?'....
 (I work with professionals like this.)

 They Walk Among Us!
-----------------------------------------------------------------
While working at a pizza parlor I observed a man
 ordering a small pizza to go. He appeared to be alone and
 the cook asked him if he would like it cut
 into 4 pieces or 6. He thought about it for some time
 then said 'Just cut it into 4 pieces; I don't think I'm hungry
 enough to eat 6 pieces.

 They Walk Among Us!

   

 
 
 
 
 






 
 
 

 


Learn to disagree without being disagreeable-Ronald Reagan circa 1981

Fitz66

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#1 : June 22, 2010, 10:47:29 AM


 

   

 You can't make this stuff up!
 
 
NEW YORK  - resident Kathy Evans brought humiliation to her friends and family
 when she set a new standard for stupidity with her appearance
 on the popular TV show, 'Who Wants To Be A Millionaire.'
 
 Evans, a 32-year-old wife and mother of two, got stuck on the first question
 and proceeded to make what fans of the show are dubbing 'the absolute worst use
 of lifelines ever.' After being introduced to the show's host
 Meredith Vieira, Evans was posed with a typically easy initial $100 question.
 
 The question was: 'Which of the following is the largest?'
 
 A) A Peanut
 B) An Elephant
 C) The Moon
 D) Hey, who you calling large?
 
 Immediately Mrs. Evans was struck with an all consuming panic as she did not
 readily know the answer. 'Hmm, oh boy, that's a toughie,' said Evans,
 as Vieira did her level best to hide her disbelief.
 'I mean, I'm sure I've heard of some of these things before,
 but I have no idea how large they would be.'
 
 Evans made the decision to use the first of her three lifelines, the 50/50.
 Answers A and D were removed, leaving her to decide which was
 bigger, an elephant or the moon. However, faced with an incredibly
 easy question, Evans still remained unsure.
 
 'Oh! It removed the two I was leaning towards!' exclaimed Evans...
 'Darn. I think I better phone a friend.'
 Mrs.. Evans asked to be connected with her friend
 Betsy, who is an office assistant.
 
 'Hi Betsy! How are you? This is Kathy! I'm on TV!' said Evans,
 wasting the first seven seconds of her call.
 'Ok, I got an important question. Which of the following is the largest?
 B, an elephant, or C, the moon. 15 seconds hun.'
 Betsy quickly replied that the answer was C, the moon.
 Evans proceeded to argue with her friend for the remaining ten seconds.
 'Betsy, are you sure?' said Evans. 'How sure are you? Duh, that can't be it.'
 
 To everyone's astonishment, the moronic Evans declined to take her friend's
 advice. 'I just don't know if I can trust Betsy. She's not all that bright.
 So I think I'd like to ask the audience,' said Evans.
 
 Asked to vote on the correct answer, the audience returned 98% in favor of
 answer C, 'The Moon.' Having used up all her lifelines,
 Evans then made the dumbest choice of her life..
 
 'Wow, seems like everybody is against what I'm thinking,' said the
 too-stupid-to-live Evans. 'But you know, sometimes you just got to go with
 your gut.. So, let's see... I'm going to have to go with B, an elephant... Final answer.'
 
 Evans sat before the dumbfounded audience, the only one waiting with bated breath -
 and was told that she was wrong, and that the answer was in fact, C, 'The Moon.'
 
Caution...they walk among us
 This one is equally unbelievable. (No comments needed!)

Poor lady, just the subject of an easy Photoshop
http://www.snopes.com/radiotv/gameshows/millionaire.asp


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FortMyersDave

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#2 : June 22, 2010, 10:44:04 PM

Sounds almost like an ole "Gong Show" plant.....   ::)

ufojoe

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#3 : June 22, 2010, 11:51:40 PM

Poor lady, just the subject of an easy Photoshop
http://www.snopes.com/radiotv/gameshows/millionaire.asp

Yeah, that one was blatantly bogus.

lyronmewis

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#4 : June 23, 2010, 12:37:01 AM

I'm willing to bet that each e-mail forward is fake, sensationalized, and always a waste of time.

Thomas

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#5 : June 23, 2010, 04:02:23 PM

waste of time - yep

John Galt?

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#6 : June 23, 2010, 08:00:15 PM

Well, there is a reason those warning labels are on stuff (like ''Do not use in shower" on a hair dryer)


mjs020294

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#7 : June 23, 2010, 08:24:34 PM

"Walk amongst us"????  I think most of them post in the Cove.

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