Sean Peyton, wife, file for divorce.

[JC5100]

There were rumors years ago about Payton knocking up a Saints cheerleader.

[BucsFTW]

And on the other side he's essentially wasted 20 years with the wrong woman. 

Or, he had a couple of decades of great memories with the wife and two kids and they just grew apart. Not everybody who gets divorced considers those years to be wasted. In fact, many people, when they mature and look back at those years, look at them fondly.

Well...  Since Doc's in dispose...

THAT is egg-zactly what I was thinking.  I mean, personally I've been married for years before, had two beautiful wonderful kids (with two different wives), and I haven't got one single regret.

The divorce rate is so high for a number of reasons, but in my opinion, the most simple explanation is the simple fact we live much longer than we used to, just a few short hundreds of years ago.

We aren't wired to be with one person 50+ years.

[Hate]

Feel sorry for him, his wife and kids.

What the heck.... I'll bite.  Why?

I mean, I totally understanding feeling sorry for the kids, because they are the innocent victims here, but Sean amd Beth...  not so much.

Two folks who have been married for 20 years with kids - the issues they will face with the kids and their own thoughts about what they could have done differently or better in the past, present and future.  It isn't good for anyone FTW.  This is the real stuff - not a game.  These folks are going to hurt.  Sad.

I was with mine for 20........ no sadness here. Every situation is different.

[caradoc]

he's having a tough year

I would look on the bright side... Hes a millionaire, single and has a years vacation.  I would be on cloud 9 with 9 other women.

And on the other side he's essentially wasted 20 years with the wrong woman. 

Getting laid is all well and good, but if that's all you have life is going to get awfully lonely later on.  No way I trade my wife (and life) for a few million and young tang.

Well Doc.......  Seems like, as with everything in life, there are two sides to every story.  Bu we can get to that - IF you really want to later.

But I'm curious...  What, precisely, makes you think he's "essentially wasted 20 years with the wrong woman" ....?

What that means is that those twenty years were supposed to have been the first twenty of a permanent relationship, not the last twenty of a temporary one.  I added the caveat of "essentially" as they are obviously not completely wasted, but those were years he could have been looking for, and spending with, the "right" person.  I was mainly just pointing out an opposing viewpoint as it's obviously not as clear and absolute as that.  I would add that the same thing applies to the wife, she could have been doing the same thing with those twenty years.  Everyone loses in divorce.

[caradoc]

And on the other side he's essentially wasted 20 years with the wrong woman. 

Or, he had a couple of decades of great memories with the wife and two kids and they just grew apart. Not everybody who gets divorced considers those years to be wasted. In fact, many people, when they mature and look back at those years, look at them fondly.

They may look at them fondly, but honestly, I find it hard to fathom that anyone would prefer to have a marriage that ends up in divorce.  I would expect that nobody plans to be married for just a few years.  The whole point of it is that it's supposed to be forever, "till death do us part" and all that. You can look back, and see that most any relationship is going to have good times and good memories, but the intent of marriage is permanency, divorce is not an outcome to be desired.

[Dolorous Jason]

Everyone loses in divorce.

Tell that to Tiger Woods ex-wife...

[caradoc]

I'll go out on a limb and say she would have been happier to stay married and jut have him not be a cheating bastard. 

[dbucfan]

And their kids, parents and other relatives....

[Boid Fink]

As it relates to the BUcs, I am glad their is more cause for consternation in that Evil Corporation known as the "Saints".  How ironic.

[ufojoe]

I was with mine for 20........ no sadness here. Every situation is different.

I was sad when it first happened. But now? No. I am still very close to my first wife.

[ufojoe]

What that means is that those twenty years were supposed to have been the first twenty of a permanent relationship, not the last twenty of a temporary one.  I added the caveat of "essentially" as they are obviously not completely wasted, but those were years he could have been looking for, and spending with, the "right" person.  I was mainly just pointing out an opposing viewpoint as it's obviously not as clear and absolute as that.  I would add that the same thing applies to the wife, she could have been doing the same thing with those twenty years.  Everyone loses in divorce.

If you want to look at it as "everybody loses" then that's how it will be for you. It's not like that for me and for many other people.

[ufojoe]

And on the other side he's essentially wasted 20 years with the wrong woman. 

Or, he had a couple of decades of great memories with the wife and two kids and they just grew apart. Not everybody who gets divorced considers those years to be wasted. In fact, many people, when they mature and look back at those years, look at them fondly.

They may look at them fondly, but honestly, I find it hard to fathom that anyone would prefer to have a marriage that ends up in divorce. 

Who said anybody prefers it? It happens and people move on. And not everybody considers it a waste if it happens. It's a learning experience for many.

I would expect that nobody plans to be married for just a few years.

I wouldn't say nobody but the vast majority don't want to or expect to, be divorced early.

The whole point of it is that it's supposed to be forever, "till death do us part" and all that.

What does that have to do with thinking it was waste of time once the divorce occurs?

You can look back, and see that most any relationship is going to have good times and good memories, but the intent of marriage is permanency, divorce is not an outcome to be desired.

And the reality is that tons of people get divorced and many of them do not consider those married years as a waste of time.

You ever been divorced?

[BucsFTW]

And on the other side he's essentially wasted 20 years with the wrong woman. 

Or, he had a couple of decades of great memories with the wife and two kids and they just grew apart. Not everybody who gets divorced considers those years to be wasted. In fact, many people, when they mature and look back at those years, look at them fondly.

They may look at them fondly, but honestly, I find it hard to fathom that anyone would prefer to have a marriage that ends up in divorce. 

Who said anybody prefers it? It happens and people move on. And not everybody considers it a waste if it happens. It's a learning experience for many.

I would expect that nobody plans to be married for just a few years.

I wouldn't say nobody but the vast majority don't want to or expect to, be divorced early.

The whole point of it is that it's supposed to be forever, "till death do us part" and all that.

What does that have to do with thinking it was waste of time once the divorce occurs?

You can look back, and see that most any relationship is going to have good times and good memories, but the intent of marriage is permanency, divorce is not an outcome to be desired.

And the reality is that tons of people get divorced and many of them do not consider those married years as a waste of time.

You ever been divorced?

Okay...  I guess it's confession time here, so here goes...  ( and it's NOT that I'm proud to have been married and divorced a few times - it'd just that I'm rather experienced in the process)

I can already tell ya - Doc's been happily married for at least 20 years.  I've got money on it.  And that's a VERY cool thing IMO...

Me...  3 marriages, 1 kid from each of the first two, and I'm still with the third one I divorced...  (Long, but truly storybook romance/hollywood material)

I'm GREAT friends with my exes, and each of the 3 have all broken bread with each other and are all on speaking terms (at the very least), and all 5 of them are facebook friends.  (There are two exes who I was with 5 years each, who have also dined, vacationed, or gone to themeparks, etc. with over the years with each of my 3 wives...)

That may sound very confusing, but truth be told it's not a matter of "who gets along with who", because quite frankly...  They ALL get along with each other.

Relationships are different for everybody...  What works for some, doesn't for others.  Like me...  I have/had no desire to "be with one woman all my life".  It makes absolutely no logical sense to me.

I actually have a book I'm currently writing that touches off on that very subject.  The bottom line is this:

In this day of modern medicine, our life expectancies have more than doubled in just the last few hundred years.  Why does that matter you ask?  It's actually quite simple, IF you stop and consider it for just a minute.

We (men) used to only live to an average age of 37 as recently as the turn of the 20th century, and women only outlasted us by a couple more years, as is typical for any demographic, in any area, at any period of time through mankinds existence. So...  Now we're living to just over twice that age, and in America the average age of death is higher.

Examine the nature of "persuing and acquiring a mate".  In the early 1900's, the amount of time between meeting, marrying, and even having children is so very close to the amount of time taken presently is basically negligible, and therefore irrelevant.  So...  We woo, persue, and acquire a mate very soon after we come of age, statistically speaking.

That said, when we're still together 20 years later, our brains "don't know how to handle it" , to put it in layman's terms...  Right around the same time we're chronologically suppose to die - we're now 'rewarded' with another 20 (or more) with the same damned person...!

Now I know that ARE couples out there who have actually found someone they actually find happiness with, for 50+ years, and that's way cool...  It's just FAR from the norm.  And the reason is pretty simple.

[BucsFTW]

Wow.....  Amazing what that second bottle of wine does for my typing speed...!

[Hate]

Wow.... you really put yourself out there. Appreciate the honesty.