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Uncle Stan

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: July 09, 2014, 12:10:51 PM

 

The Church Dinner

 

A group of friends from the Cottonwood Church wanted to get together on a regular basis, socialize, an play games. The lady of the house was to prepare the meal.

 

When it came time for Al and Jean to be the hosts, Jean wanted to outdo all the others. She decided to have mushroom-smothered steak.  But mushrooms are expensive. She then told her husband, "No mushrooms. They are too high." He said, "Why don't you go down in the pasture and pick some of those mushrooms? There are plenty in the creek bed." She said, "No, some wild mushrooms are poison."  He said, "Well, I see varmints eating them and they're OK."  So Jean decided to give it a try. She picked a bunch, washed, sliced, and diced them for her smothered steak.

Then she went out on the back porch and gave Ol' Spot (the yard dog) a double handful.  Ol' Spot ate every bite. All morning long, Jean watched Ol' Spot and the wild mushrooms didn't seem to affect him, so she decided to use them.

 The meal was a great success, and Jean even hired a helper lady from town to help her serve. After everyone had finished, they relaxed, socialized, and played '42' and dominoes. About then, the helper lady came in and whispered in Jean's ear. She said, "Mrs. Williams, Ol' Spot is dead."

Jean went into hysterics. After she finally calmed down, she called the doctor and told him what had happened.

The doctor said, "That's bad, but I think we can take care of it. I will call for an ambulance and I will be there as quickly as possible.  We'll give everyone enemas and we will pump out everyone's stomach.  Everything will be fine. Just keep them calm."

Soon they could hear the siren as the ambulance was coming down the road. The EMTs and the doctor had their suit cases, syringes, and a stomach pump. One by one, they took each person into the bathroom, gave them an enema, and pumped out their stomach. The scene was not pretty.  After the last one was finished, the doctor came out and said, "I think everything will be fine now," and he left.

 
They were all looking pretty weak sitting around the living room and about this time the helper lady came in and whispered to Jean, "You know, that fellow that run over Ol' Spot never even stopped."



Learn to disagree without being disagreeable-Ronald Reagan circa 1981

gbobucsfan

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#1 : July 11, 2014, 10:16:13 AM

Good stuff

My wife is in nursing school and always wants to give me an enema, I told her it was a bad idea! ! !
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