What constitutes cheating on a spouse/ sig other?

[buckit]

If you take other women out for drinks, your wife should be there.  How the hell else are you gonna hook up a 3-way???

If you take other women out for drinks, your wife should be there. How the hell else are you gonna hook up a 3-way???

'Slow clap'

[ufojoe]

Here 's a good read for you guys and gals,

"The Ethical Slut."

[gruber]

I'm going to chime in because this thread picked up some steam again. This situation really made me think. First I learned if your really honest with yourself ( which is sometimes hard) you might not like the answers you find. The main thing I learned about my life is I think ultimatley I am not happy being a "family man". I 'm happy I have a beatiful happy daughter, but as many of you know the family stuff is a grind. I realy hadpictured myself a lifelong bachleor.


 I really enjoyed myself that Thursday and if there was no chance of getting caught i probally would have felt no remorse. I regret not taking advantage of this situation.

   I decided there is no way I'll tell my gf what happened. I do feel bad about betraying her trust. I also know that if we didn't have a kid together I'd be history. I don't plan on going out trying to pick up chicks, but if this situations arises again I can't say this will end the same. I will still be stopping the tradition though.

   I know some of these thoughts are random, i deleted some lines beacuse I was getting to in depth. Ultimatley I'll be dealing with myself for years to come.

[ufojoe]

Appreciate the honesty Gruber. Not many people would be that honest. You should
really check out that book I mentioned. Some people have their cake and eat it
too.

[karen anderson]

Gruber---how suprised were you that at least 2 women ( me & DBismyDaddy) said DO NOT TELL? Sometimes what you don't know won't hurt you.

[krazybuc]

Gruber---how suprised were you that at least 2 women ( me & DBismyDaddy) said DO NOT TELL? Sometimes what you don't know won't hurt you.

that also backs up my theory on florida women.

solar powered... nuff said.

cant get some in florida, ya cant get some nowhere.

[karen anderson]

Excuse me...solar powered?

[gruber]

Karen  I figured someone like yourself would give me the best advice possible.

 I did forget to thank everyone for their advice and reccomendations. I used this medium because of the relative aninimity.

Joe thanks again I'll give that book a quick read ill amazon it as soon as I get a chance.

Yeah if you're unhappy in a relationship/marriage you're either gonna have to get out(wether a kid is involved or not), or eventually something is going to happen like cheating that will send the whole thing to a crashing disaster.   

[gruber]

Chrispy its a lot togher than it sounds. I don't know if you have any kids, but for that one reason it makes you stick around.

I'm going to chime in because this thread picked up some steam again. This situation really made me think. First I learned if your really honest with yourself ( which is sometimes hard) you might not like the answers you find. The main thing I learned about my life is I think ultimatley I am not happy being a "family man". I 'm happy I have a beatiful happy daughter, but as many of you know the family stuff is a grind. I realy hadpictured myself a lifelong bachleor.


 I really enjoyed myself that Thursday and if there was no chance of getting caught i probally would have felt no remorse. I regret not taking advantage of this situation.

 Â  I decided there is no way I'll tell my gf what happened. I do feel bad about betraying her trust. I also know that if we didn't have a kid together I'd be history. I don't plan on going out trying to pick up chicks, but if this situations arises again I can't say this will end the same. I will still be stopping the tradition though.

 I know some of these thoughts are random, i deleted some lines beacuse I was getting to in depth. Ultimatley I'll be dealing with myself for years to come.

THAT is a very serious epiphany, dude.  I understand what you mean about your daughter, but please let me play "Jimminy Cricket" for a minute.  Anything you do once you are a father reflects on the growth and development of your children as human beings.  My wife's dad was a philanderer, and my wife still has emotional damage and self-worth doubts to this day (married 14 years).  I'm suggesting that you weigh your feelings that you don't want to be a family man with what that environment could do to your daughter and her impressions of men.  I'm also admitting that if you lock yourself into a lifestyle that you hate "for the sake of the child", the resentment will build and eventually will be more damaging than a clean break.  Everyone has their preferences, you will have to live with it.  If you don't want a family life, fine, but you owe it to any children you have fathered to provide as good a role model as possible given your choice.

I also consider the possibility that you could sow those oats again by accident with another woman and start having child support issues.

Rant done.

good luck with your internal struggle, I hope I never have the doubts you have because it must be brutal.

Chrispy its a lot togher than it sounds. I don't know if you have any kids, but for that one reason it makes you stick around.

Don't I know it; because I stayed in a very unhealthy and wild relationship waaaaaaay too long about 4 years ago, and she had two kids from a previous marriage that had become attached to me and she would use that as an emotional weapon to make me stay or come back home(after leaving briefly 3-4 times).

[spartan]

My rule of thumb is this: If I don't want my wife to do it, I don't do it. If I would be pissed because she did something then I don't do it. Simple really.

My rule of thumb is this: If I don't want my wife to do it, I don't do it. If I would be pissed because she did something then I don't do it. Simple really.

well said, I just prefer to say something in 1000 words when less than a 100 would suffice.   ;-)