More bukkake from Karma. If you would at least make an effort at understanding satire I’d probably let it slide.
You could try something like:
Supporter of Orange man saved by Obamacare after flashlight gets stuck in rectum. After hearing the presidents comments on light and bleach curing covid, the victim consumed copious amounts of tequila before taking a bath in a tub full of bleach and swallowing and inserting flashlights in all possible orifices.
Considering the societal cost of these corrective procedures, the orange man will be arrested and exhibited in times square in a steam punk display in which the orange man will be decked out in leather, ball gag and nipple clamps and will be fucked by a steam powered fuck machine with a flashlight attachment until he is dead, in accordance with Federal law.
This is a completely normal punishment and has always been a completely normal punishment. All hail Joe Biden!
PewterReport.com prides itself on being the most complete, comprehensive news source covering the Tampa Bay Buccaneers and delivering inside scoop on the team found nowhere else.