Lol, Easier Than Buying Beer . . . .

This is a good time to say a few words about content vs. process. Content is the words used in a conversation, process is what the conversation is actually about. In a normal, "healthy" conversation, content and process are the same. But the more dysfunctional one or more participants in the conversation is, the further apart content and process become. In any type of abusive relationship, content varies widely, but process remains the same. The purpose is always to instill self doubt. "Why do you always make me..." It doesn't really matter what follows, that is merely content. The process, the true intent of the conversation, is already established in the first six words. This is an example of blame shifting, in which an abuser shifts responsibility for their abusive actions onto the person they are abusing. People who suffer long term exposure to this wide disparity between content and process learn to think within that framework themselves.Go back and reexamine this thread. Ignore the content and look at the process. When only one person at a time would respond to him, and insisted on sticking to the subject (content), Vin started to abandon the conversation. When forced to stick to content in a one on one match, his argument is untenable and he loses. His repeated attempts at switching the conversation to personal attacks failed and his participation declined. But when more people become involved, it's much easier to devolve the conversation into a mud slinging contest. And no one ever really wins a mud slinging contest - and no one ever really loses, as long as they don't give up. At that point, content is irrelevant, process is everything. The process in this case is internal narrative. In his mind, Vin is the hero that's holding his own against multiple opponents. He's outnumbered, so he doesn't have to win to feed his ego, he just has to not lose. And he almost never loses because he's so willing to lie and engage in denial. He rids himself of guilt for his dishonest behavior by projecting it onto others. We've seen this multiple times, as soon as he feels guilt about something he accused someone else of it. So as long as he doesn't quit, he sees himself as winning. And that's why he's obsessed with me, and why he's trying so hard to get me into a mud slinging contest again; I'm the only one who's ever beat him down to the point of quitting. "Can't talk, football."So why do people become obsessed with process to the point that content becomes secondary? Sometimes, content itself provides a clue. If you look at Benchwarmer's obsession, and focus strictly on process, you can see that in his internal narrative he's vanquishing a father figure. This is a repetition compulsion. The subject has suffered some sort of psychic trauma that they were unable to resolve. So they bury that pain and never consciously acknowledge it. Then, they subconsciously recreate those same conditions over and over in an attempt to resolve that trauma. One of the more obvious examples of this is the cheatin ho. She has an unacknowledged sexual attraction to her father figure and a love/hate relationship with him. She subconsciously recreates this scene over and over. She seduces new men, then when they become attached to her she abandons them. This is partially a vindictive revenge, and partially because once she has "conquered" them, they no longer fulfill her requirements for a father figure that she is unable to conquer. Such women will go their entire lives and never see the pattern they are following, instead seeing themselves as "victims" of love.And what of our little Vin here? Well when I look at him I clearly see an outcast little boy, brutally castigated by his peers, who has become a grown man recreating that same psychic trauma over and over. Pull your head out of your ass son, it's time to grow up. If you can't do it by yourself, go get some professional help. It's either that or spend the rest of your life in a hell of your own creation.