1. Job Recruiters- We all know how stressful it can be to land a good job these days. Fact is, job recruiters are some of the most incompetent and unprofessional people you will ever come across in the business world. They fail to return your calls and respond to your e-mails. They change around interviews at the last second. They promise you a second interview and one never comes. The trouble is, if you complain about the way they treat you, you get blacklisted with that company. Some of them should be flipping hamburgers for a living.2. Budwieser- For years I was a huge fan and it was all I drank. I had a massive poster of the Clydesdales framed on my wall. I had my Bud Keychain/Bottle opener even if I kept breaking them and having to order new ones. I even had a Budweiser racing hat, which was very comfortable despite the fact that I'm not a racing fan. But now they put that disgusting red label on the big bottles. Now the company is owned by a bunch of spazzy Germans and Brazillians. Plus August Busch IV is a complete prick. Oh by the way, Bud Light sucks. Stop running ads for it every ten seconds during NFL games. 3. Academia- I won't get into the political aspects of it because that's on record. But fact of the matter is, it's too expensive to go to even an average college now. Think about this for a second. You can spend approximately what it costs to buy a Ferrari and when you get out, everybody has the same degree you do and guess what.... they're all working in a call center making the same $25,000 a year you are. I actually learned more from the adults in my life than I ever did in a college classroom. Clearly I would've been no worse off skipping college. With the emergence of for-profit colleges, it's time to come to grips with the fact that Academia is a business just like anything else. The only difference is it's also subsidized. Textbooks don't have to cost $100 and be reprinted in new editions every year. You don't have to buy every kid in school a personal tablet or laptop. And no, my child does not need a $200 graphing calculator to do their math homework. Also, stop messing with the little kids. I know it's the times we're living in, but stay the hell out of their lunch box, stop teaching them about sex in kindergarten and let them be children and enjoy childhood for awhile. Believe me, it gets taken away quickly enough.4. Parents who complain about their children- You had them. Nobody put a gun to your head. Don't whine because you have to take them everywhere. Evidently that's kind of implied when you have children. Along with feeding them, caring for them, and generally putting up with them for the next 18 years, this also includes driving them places. Don't complain to me about their grades, I don't care if they got suspended, and I damn sure don't want to hear about how they are such a picky eater. You shouldn't be badmouthing someone you profess to love behind their back no matter how small they are. And it's also not my problem if you're a "single parent." You made a choice to sleep with the other person, you made the choice to have a child, and at some point you made the choice to leave. If you knew they were scumbags when you got with them or couldn't be trusted, then why the hell did you have a kid with them??5. ESPN- I really have come to despise a cable network that plays nothing but sports. The problem isn't the sports. The problem is the idiots on there. It's bad enough they hate the Bucs. Chris Berman still has the same five cheesy catchphrases he always did. If he can't come up with a new gimmick by now, get rid of him. Also his objectivity is completely out the window. I don't need Sportscenter or its half hour version run repeatedly over and over again throughout the day. Sports don't start until the afternoon, so stop replaying the same highlights. Also keep politics the hell out of sports. I don't want to see the President throwing out the first ball, or sitting in the stands or having bracket time. This annoys the hell out of me no matter who it is or what party they're from. I also don't need to see that the women's international curling team was invited to the White House. We get it. Win a national title and you get to meet the President. It's not news anymore. Also don't tell us what a great athlete the President is. If he were such a great athlete he'd be playing pro sports and not running the country. 6. Celebrity Shows- Entertainment Tonight is the one I'm thinking of but there's probably a dozen more. I don't care who's getting married or who's dating or who's come out of the closet. If I want to know that badly, I'll run down to my local supermarket checkout aisle and spend three bucks on the National Enquirer. I can read it while I'm taking a dump, I can do the crossword puzzles and the reporting is probably more accurate than 99% of the newspapers out there now. Which brings me to...7. Bob Costas- It's bad enough he looks like the dorky kid with the speech impediment we all used to pick on in high school. He doesn't need to be on every sports network on the planet. Nothing he says is original, and like Chris Berman, he has no sense of objectivity. Case in point was the 1997 World Series. The Indians were two outs away from winning it all, but all we listened to was Bob Costas whining about how Jim Leyland was never going to get his World Series ring. Then when the Marlins won, I basically got to see Bob do the journalistic equivalent of blowing Jim Leyland. 8. People Who Can't Drive- They fall into two categories. First group is people who think they're Mario Andretti and can just slam their car in anywhere. Newsflash. You're not cool. Your car is almost without exception either a mid-life crisis mobile or a foreign pile of junk with a knock off exhaust tip and cheap WalMart rims. Most of the time I stay in one lane and end up passing you. Second are people who are paranoid drivers. They usually drive 25 MPH in the left lane and have cars trailing them. They actually slow down as they approach a green light, then speed up again, but stop immediately if the light turns yellow. If I'm behind you when you do that, you're gonna get an earful of my horn and some vile names thrown your way. And don't even think about getting out of your car to confront me, because if you do, you're going to the hospital. 9. Motor Scooters- Whoever invented these god forsaken things, get the hell off the road!! I'm sorry you're too scared to buy a motorcycle, and I'm also sorry the scooter only goes 30 MPH. You're actually obstructing traffic and probably cause more accidents than your worthless ass deserves.10. School Buses- This didn't bother me so much until recently. They leave the flashers on for too long. There's no need to leave your yellows on for five minutes. Do it as you are pulling up to the house or bus stop. Turn on red flashers. Open door. Child inside bus. Tell him to sit down and shut up. Turn flashers off. Drive away. It's as simple as that. Also I have no clue why you can't turn right on red or have to stop at railroad crossings. You're a vehicle. Follow the same laws the rest of us do. Otherwise you keep stopping in the middle of the road and holding up traffic for no reason.
