Am I a horrible fan?

For feeling bad because this win likely buys Lovie more time?  Part of me, a big part, wanted us to lose in order to expedite Lovie's demise only because I feel that's what's in the teams best interest long term.  It's weird, I want to watch Winston do well and grow, yet at the same time, I want us to lose so Lovie can get fired...it's awful.  Is anyone else in the same boat?