An open letter to the 2023 NFL Draft Class

By virtue of your merits, talents, and hard work, you have been granted the ultimate job.... playing the game you love in front of tens of thousands of adoring fans and earning millions of dollars while doing it.   

You lucky dawgs!!!

Now that you've made it to the pinnacle of your profession, I would like to offer a few tips to help keep you there.

1.  Sign your contract immediately, no matter what your agent tells you.  The little bit of extra green you get for being a stubborn jackass will be tempered by the fact that your coaches, teammates and fan base now think you're a stubborn jackass.  Get your lucky ass into camp right away, grab a playbook, and start learning how to earn those handsome paychecks.

2. Get into the habit of getting to the practice facility early and staying there late.  Almost always, when you hear the coach talk about a star player, you'll hear something along the line's of, "That guy puts in maximum effort.  He is always here when I arrive at 6 am"   You want to be THAT GUY.

3.  No matter how strong you think you are, start working on getting stronger.  The ol' pump and flex you did at Willicoochie College ain't gonna cut it in The League.  Hit the weights, then hit them harder.  When you think you can't take anymore, hit them again.

4.  No matter how fast you think you are, start working on getting faster.  About 80% of you are going to feel like you're in slow motion when you first get to camp.  This is the NFL and that's just how it is.  Work with a speed coach in between camps and learn how to fly.   

5.  Be humble.   Remember that your job is to score touchdowns or prevent the other team from doing so.  Our job, as fans, is to celebrate.

6.  Lastly, keep in mind that our money from tickets and merchandise pays for your mansions and Mercedes.  Don't ever piss us off.

Sincerely,

Buccanoler.