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Week 7: Bucs @ Lions MNF General Thread (Bucs win if, early news, predictions, etc.)

Beatles123 · 2025-10-14T07:11:32Z

That's right, LOOK AT ME! LOOK AT ME - IM THE CAPTAIN NOW! It's past victory Monday, Branch is suspended, and Beatles is PISSED that BUF shat the bed against our ATL rivals, So i'm wasting no time gettin' us into Lion-skinnin' mode!Now, I've only been back here a little while, but for those of you that don't remember me, Hello! I'm Beatles, and I'm a veteran member who's been here since way back in 2010. Back when Biggs and DH weren't the only controversial members. Back when we had a user named Michael, who would post so many articles on the bucs per day that we swore he was a damn robot. In those days, nonsensical phrases like "Youngry", "Race to 10" and "Josh Freeman is pretty good, I think we may have something here!" were on our minds weekly, and how fitting it is that we discuss the lions this week, because as it just so happens, it was in that very season that we faced Detroit with a playoff spot nearly in our grasp at the time. We would have one too, if not for a bogus PI! But that's ancient history. Let's talk a little LESS ancient: We still owe these powder blue bastards a beating for ending our playoff run in '24 -- "But Beatles!" I hear you type, "We beat them later in September that year!" Yes, and STILL the wound isn't healed! We must beat them AGAIN, and I for one will not be satisfied unless we do. Let's not lose sight of the fact that they're still ahead in our all time series 33-30-0! A meaningless number, or is it THREE meaningless numbers?! These are the questions we need to ask ourselves!Okay, all jokes aside: We MUST win this game. The rest of the south has been quietly getting its collective shit together, and if we fall to 5-2, we'll be in prime position for those FFFFFFFFFFFUCKING RAT BIRDS to come waving their Penix all over the division in a few more games, and no one wants that!So! Since you all seem to be doing those "Bucs win if" thingies every week, I'll start us off with mine! Here are my way-too-early "Bucs/Lions Win if" takes!Bucs win if:- We score more points than the Lions at the end of 4 quartersThis is a big one. It could be important. We'd be wise to try it.- We wear kneecap guards while within Detroit city limitsThey can't bite off what they can't chew!- Tez Johnson does another flip and its even coolerI think he should try three in a row. The Lions wouldn't possibly be able to handle that kind of power! - Mike Evans returnsI mean, they can't double ALL our guys. Not anymore. Even if Mike is guarded most of the game, as long as he frees up Tez, Shep, or Cameron we should be okay- Baker keeps being BakerNeed i say anymore? He's the best thing to happen to us in years that wasn't Brady-related. Keep letting him loose, run the offense, and don't get him hurt. Which leads me to...- The Oline does it's jobWe can't slack on their D. It'll pound us good if we don't have protection. Pause.- The Refs aren't piss drunk like they've been for the past few weeksHOW WAS IT NOT A FUMBLE, REFS?! HUH?! THE BALL WAS BOBBLED! THE BALL WAS FUCKI-- We bounce a ball off a helmet againIt worked once! - We don't turn the ball overThis is what cost us against the Fleagles. We should be 5-0 right now!Lions win if:- We score fewer points than the Lions at the end of 4 quartersThis is a big one. It could be important. We'd be wise not to try it.- Barry Sanders comes out of retirementIt could happen, and we don't want that. He was scary!- Dan Campbell eats our entire benchHe looked hungry against KC. The Chiefs keep Reid motivated this way too.- Tez Johnson does another flip and its even cooler (and fails)Last thing we need is another injury. PRACTICE THE LANDING, TEZ!- We run too many plays that cause Todd Bowels to have that weird, confused looking smirk on the sidelineListen man, when that face comes out that's the face of a man who's running too many programs at once in his internal OS. Usually when he gets like that he finds a way to reboot from safe mode after the half and get things working again, but if it's in the third quarter and he's made that face two or three times already, we could be in trouble.- The refs remember 2010"HEY, BOB! GET A LOAD OF THIS! I WAS JUST ON PEWTER REPORT THIS WEEK: YOU REMEMBER WHEN..."That's it from me. Lets exploit Branch being out and get to 6-1! GO BUCS!

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White Tiger

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Posts: 2498

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The gift of Heck keeps on giving.

Posted : Oct. 20, 2025 7:56 pm

Donkey_Hunter

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Posted by: @hirecoen2025

↑

Posted by: @donkey_hunter

↑

Pull the fucking trigger, Baker!

Jesus...

Wtf is he waiting for?

No idea.

That was a layup TD.

Posted : Oct. 20, 2025 7:56 pm

HireCoen2025

(@hirecoen2025)

Posts: 5884

Captain

Eject Heck into the sun

Posted : Oct. 20, 2025 7:56 pm

OlafSnowfake

(@bucsbits)

Posts: 9390

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Offensive line depth not getting it done

Posted : Oct. 20, 2025 7:57 pm

White Tiger

(@white-tiger)

Posts: 2498

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That was a nice call

Posted : Oct. 20, 2025 7:57 pm

BadabingBucs

(@badabingbucs)

Posts: 3338

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Thank god for heck false start. Yet another close play we taking our time

Posted : Oct. 20, 2025 7:57 pm

seekpar

(@seekpar)

Posts: 1524

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Grizz and the offense not doing ANYTHING to take advantage of the Lions depleted secondary. I was expecting a Lions win, but this is ridiculous. It least game plan to attack your opponents weakness. Anything but. The defense is fine. Baker needs to show up, not Gus Swayze.

Posted : Oct. 20, 2025 7:57 pm

White Tiger

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Posts: 2498

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GO FOR IT!

…and PASS!

Posted : Oct. 20, 2025 7:57 pm

White Tiger

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Posts: 2498

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Wow, that’s more faith than I had in Chaad

Posted : Oct. 20, 2025 7:58 pm

HireCoen2025

(@hirecoen2025)

Posts: 5884

Captain

We gotta use Tez more like that in the zone buster hitch route

Posted : Oct. 20, 2025 7:58 pm

White Tiger reacted

Donkey_Hunter

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Kudos to Todd for going for it there.

Posted : Oct. 20, 2025 7:58 pm

OlafSnowfake

(@bucsbits)

Posts: 9390

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The plays that Grizz dialed up had Tez wide open twice

mayfield had one batted down

Posted : Oct. 20, 2025 7:58 pm

White Tiger

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Posts: 2498

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Why did Tucker stop?

Posted : Oct. 20, 2025 7:58 pm

HireCoen2025

(@hirecoen2025)

Posts: 5884

Captain

Why do we keep looking down field?!?!!?!

Posted : Oct. 20, 2025 7:59 pm

OlafSnowfake

(@bucsbits)

Posts: 9390

Captain

Tucker has to stop the late cut back

Posted : Oct. 20, 2025 7:59 pm

White Tiger reacted

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Week 7: Bucs @ Lions MNF General Thread (Bucs win if, early news, predictions, etc.)

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